I cant do this without you. Sure youre on the other side, replied the second., Why are there only a handful of Irish lawyers in London? Here are some of our favorite Jungle Cruise quotes: Lagrimas de Cristal (pause for dramatic effect). No, the man replied. Ugly. A: a Ginger's temper. How on earth can the news get any worse. "Oh, that's OK," says the nurse. 92. Cross-eyed monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver. Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns. Two Irish friends went to bar . Have we now not been approximately to head. Trilingual Rajnandini has also published work in a supplement for 'The Telegraph', and had her poetry shortlisted in Poems4Peace, an international project. So, he shouted over to the lad digging the holes, I dont get it why do you dig a hole, only for the other lad to fill it in?, The lad wiped his brow and sighed deeply, Well, I suppose it probably does looks a bit odd. He had a-stick-matism from then on. He said, "Eye will allow it.". Because they can't aim if they close two. ", 88. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, when she dropped a dime, she thought she picked up two nickels. Well, still, the police managed to close the lid on it. Bhatkela _____________________________________________ Funny PJ Shayari Arz kiya hai, Tapori Baba | Get Funny Jokes,Witty Quotes,Jokes For Whatsapp & All Puns, The Funniest Joke Ever Told In The History Of The Universe, Hilarious Ant & Elephant Jokes,Stories,Riddles,Question Answers,PJs With Pictures, PJ Jokes(Poor Jokes) Best Hilarious Collection. His friend to replies no but it would make us even . So an Irish woman gives birth to twins, a boy and a girl. What did the comedian who only tells bad eyes puns say? A: Gingers will get this . What is the favorite song of the blue eyeball? I went to buy some camo pants but couldn't find any. Where do all the rabbits go every time they need their eyes checked? What do the spooks that have low eyesight wear? #6 a squirrel in a nut factory. It says, "I see that you're still wrong". What would you call an alien that had a missing eye? Why do hunters close one eye when they aim? Couldnt concentrate. One liner tags: marriage, puns 73.71 % / 207 votes. You know they say the boa constrictor right there is capable of eating up to 500 lbs per sitting. Have you ever actually had a drink yourself?, Well of course I havent, what a ridiculous question., Then you dont know what youre talking about., I dont need to taste the demon drink to know that its evil!, Look, how about this - I will buy you a drink. Its like drifting through the Garden of Eden. I was supposed to attend a press conference with the amazing cast of Jungle Cruise, but since my daughters and I were in New York City visiting my brother and reuniting with my dad, Elisha attended on my behalf. The teacher has to wear sunglasses just because his students are so bright. Funny one-liner #3549 My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. 95. But a good-eye-might. He said "don't call me wood eye cunt face! Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon. Theres different energy, with the confidence. I guess he's an Opthemallogist. cross-eyed adjective uk / krsad / us / krsad / having eyes that look in towards the nose SMART Vocabulary: related words and phrases Eyesight, glasses & lenses accommodative afterimage age-related macular degeneration AMD astigmatic bespectacled bifocals boss-eyed eyestrain goggles macular degeneration monocular multifocal naked 3. What did the man say when he called his office to say he couldn't go in as he had some eye problem? It's pretty cute until it poops on your head." "I'm skeptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, everytime she has sex she thinks she's having a lesbian threesome. I stir it in with my left hand, replied the first lad. 2/6/2013. So the other blonde covers an eye with her hand and says, "Where?". Tag. 2. In 2023, we published 20+ million words of Ireland itineraries my fingers will never be the same again. Although youll find heaps of funny Irish jokes above, theresheapsof jokes that have been added by readers in the comments section. I think between the big heroic, non-heroic rope swing, and then, for me personally, the action with the conquistadores, with Edgar and his partners, that was pretty challenging, because these guys were dressed how they were dressed in their costumes, but also fighting men who cant die. Be that wacky person who flirts badly with these ridiculous one-liners. 66. What do you call a kid with no legs and one eye? Names. Please tell me it was quick? I have no eye-deer. the vet tells them he can fix it but for $500 the polocks agree. What did the left eye mutter to the right one? Snap snap snap. Because a bad eye cant Fun Fact: The most difficult stunt for Emily Blunt was the vine swing. A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. THIS IS HILARIOUS. Connection! John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes. Not a thing. She is fond of classic British literature. What did he call the boy?". Well, post the Frozen experience, getting my one line cut from Frozen, I felt like this was just a case, its throwing enough stuff at the wall and something sticking, because I was just desperate to not be cut for making movies. 30. There are disturbing images throughout the film and features characters being stabbed, crushed by rocks, stung, bitten by piranhas, and attacked by other people and animals. If you have crossed eyes, your eyes might point inward or outward or focus in different directions. Tony, he called. What makes our eyes feel quite lonely? Do you ever surf the Internet? Such a wonderful press conference and interview. 12. What did the sailor say to the optometrist? After a tense silence, the first one said, "really, now, if you had offered me the first choice, I would have taken the smaller fish!" Are you going to shear those sheep. There is action, adventure, and of course, a whole lot of puns and dad jokes. A: Through his ribcage. What did the eyeball say after tasting a cheesecake for the first time? With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Cross Eye animated GIFs to your conversations. An eye soar. I havent been feeling myself lately, Sheamus replied. Why'd the one eyed man marry the shallow girl? Open Preview. Share the best GIFs now >>> Kevin Hart: You see, I'm not gonna do it. But, if such a sad instance occurs and you couldn't find your favorite one-liner included in our list, add it in the comments section. When the barman arrived back with the pint, all of the shots of whiskey had been drunk. But a homeless man with three eyes is the winner. Well says Ben, If you had what I had youd drink them quickly, too. It's so that you don't get the guac-oma. None that I've ever agreed to. Funny Jokes . Im going to pet you now and youre not going to eat me. So we have him locked up. The chemistry between the actors was palpable in the interview. 9. 2. Probably because his students were bright. 'Op in!". 93. What's the difference between an Aussie and a Yoghurt? Do you know the doctor who has an office at the shopping mall? Disclaimer: I left themajorityof the more offensive Irish jokes to the end, but one of the lads sent me this in a text and I thought it was gas (Irish slang for funny)! A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. Ive some bad news and some terrible news for you.. Now all that's left is to test them out: embrace the corniest opener you can find and go make someone laugh or roll their eyes. Fun Fact: The Jungle Cruise movie was wrapped in 2018. Yes, this is another potentially offensive and dirty Irish joke involving sheep. "Closure doesn't exist," she responds smoothly. We didn't see eye to eye. 25. Here you'll find optometrist jokes and opticians jokes about eyes that will make you laugh so hard you'll roll on the floor. Why did the one eyed banker lose his job? 91. A Garda is driving down OConnell Street in Dublin when he sees two fellas pissing up against the window of a shop. He calls up to vet to try to remedy the problem. Two Irishmen were walking out of a funeral. 79. What would you call a deer with no eyes? Did you hear about the cashier that scanned the eyes of one rude customer with his barcode reader? What did the optician decide to name her new eyewear shop? Why do Australians hunt with one eye? Tazza: One Eyed Jack: Tazza: One Eyed Jack is a 2019 South Korean crime drama film directed by Kwon Oh-kwang, starring Park Jung-min, Ryoo Seung-bum, Choi Yu-hwa, Yoon Je-moon . He then begins to blow. I had to put my foot down. This is one of the best Irish jokes that Ive come across recently. See our new one liners or check one liner of the day. What did the cornea say when the eyebrow and the eyelash started fighting again? Doctors who study and later examine patients' eyes and advise them on their problems and diseases are called optometrists. He said, "Eye! #1 an ant at a family reunion picnic. Because she had a habit of lashing out. 52. One lad digging the holes. He should have been home from work 3 hours ago? The man sighed. An Australian drives up to a hitch hiker with one eye, no arms, and one leg You'll have to tell me. Intermittent exotropia: In this type of strabismus, one eye will fixate (concentrate) on a target while the other eye is pointing outward. Because they just couldn't see eye to eye. Whats a Heron with only one eye? After five minutes he shouted to the cop, Here! What did the optometrist say to the eye that had been feeling sick for a while? 44. Did you hear about the Irish man who crashed his helicopter? Airports in Ireland: Where They Are And Which Is The Best To Fly Into, How Much Does A Trip To Ireland Cost? They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. But as the secrets of the lost tree unfold, the stakesreach even higher forLily and Frank and their fateand mankindshangs in the balance. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. Sorry, love, can I have a pint of Guinness and a packet of crisps where youre ready there. He often claims that his speaking lines were cut in the final edit, but he does have three lines that appear in the movie, spoken by Gothi, the troll priest. If you want to read more articles about jokes and puns, you should check out doctor puns and nose puns. What is the similarity between an optometrist and a teacher? Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. 33. A: 50 Shades of Ginger. What do you call a dinosaur with one eye "The police are looking for a man with one eye named Murphy." See our new one liners or check one liner of the day. 39. What do the zombies eat for dessert at school lunches? Because she had a high eye-Q. My "it's cold outside" post just went viral on Facebook. Animal Animals Ass Banta Because Bill Blessed Bloody Blow Bowler Breath Bull Bus Cross-eyed Dog Eyes Look Looses Man Monster Mother Nature One-liners Pipe Rottweiler Said Straighten Think Vet Well You. #5 Times Square on New Year's Eve. 45 minutes. This is one of the longer Irish jokes in this article, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud! Our eyes constitute one of the most essential parts of our body. 2. I have no eye deer. The spook-tacles. What is a oriya banana called ? Also my Mam visits this website, and I dont want her disowning me! Between you and me, something smells. ", 23. But the labour was so exhausting she falls asleep for 24 hours solid. None that Ive ever agreedto. (Crew gives a small laugh)I'm just kidding kidshe's dead. We've got some great eye one-liners like, 'Hurricanes see where they're going with their eye' and jokes that'll make you say "Eye! 84. See all one liners sorted from the best by visitors like you. "Justawareness. 8. No eye deer. Living the dream. Turn back from the path of sin!, What?! Thats good says Paddy. Because if they closed both eyes they wouldn't be able to see. 21. He'd be called fishually impaired. What did one eye say to the other eye? Two lads were on opposite sides of the river Lee in Cork. Youre not the first to reject me! One eyed ghosts. He was very ex-eye-ted to see. Sexual harassment. They briefly open one eye. What did the snowman tell his son? The other lad filling them in. Lily travels from London, England to the Amazonjungleand enlists Franks questionable services to guide her downriver on La Quilahis ramshackle-but-charming boat. I get to make a choice, and I choose to rest. Why did the girl always seem to lose her contact lenses? Heroin. 17. 6. She made quite a spectacle of herself. What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman? He said, "Your eyes are so blue, I lose myself at see.". Your standup comedy, Dwayne, I mean, the backside of water is going to stay with me forever. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. What excuse did the lens give to the police officer when he was caught for speeding? My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. When I say I am a bad electrician somebody gets shocked and my community still wonders why. Caring for our eyes is of utmost necessity, but so is having a little fun. Lash it into the comments section at the end of this article! In the section below, weve popped in the most FAQs that weve received. Banta replies, "You don`t think I am going to put my mouth on the same end of the pipe that you had your on.". So the man goes in and orders a pint of Guinness, and a gin and tonic in a cup. I had a girlfriend once. Focus on the latest fashion and keep an eye for st-eye-l. 53. Everything that you see wants to kill you, and can. What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes Well, replied the doctor, You only have 3 days to live. 31. He though I've got a chance with this one and went up to her asking if she would like to dance. That is so good. Ninety two percent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils. Has anyone ever ghosted you for real before? Sign me up! 82. Names, Two blondes were walking in the park. 107. My mission is to help moms find peace, break cycles, and feel whole so they can be present, peaceful, and positive moms. It's an eye-opening experience. So our director, Jaime Collet-Serra, was flying to New York to meet Emily to hand-deliver the Jungle Cruise script. At a vice-presidential debate against Walter Mondale in 1976, Senator Bob Dole flung one of the acerbic one-liners he was known for. 99. Dive into the categories below and make sure to add more of your own in the comments below. Drawing unnecessary attention. You may share, quote, and link back with proper attribution. You're not the first to reject me! Ah here, you drank those very quickly said the barman. creative tips and more. I guess that's a site for sore eyes. To return Click Here. I suppose that makes sense,, Well what does a woman normally drink?, OK then, Ill have a gin and tonic. I have been turned down by all the best clubs in Europe. This condition is usually treated with glasses, but may also require eye patching and/or surgery on the muscles of one or both eyes. #11 a bunny on Hump Day. Between you and me, something smells. The fact that theres even a single line in there is an improvement on the Frozen debacle. 72. Eyes help us see and appreciate the beauty of the world as we know it. Why did the teacher decide to quit her job the other day? You look 'armless! What did the teacher say to the aspiring eye doctor students? $3.99 a minute. If a man holds a bee in his hand, what does he have in his eye? Fare? I met the man who invented the windowsill. Home; About; Categories. Arent these amazing? Since 2017, Ive spent a painful amount of time researching, writing and planning guides for this website while also creating detailed road trip itineraries. #3 a bee in a flower farm. He replies, Im Ben Riordain, and I live in the flat above Paddy!'. It was a cold Friday evening when the doorbell rang is Mrs Molloys house. 7. Im also quite sure she was seeing somebody on the side. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Eyes Crossed animated GIFs to your conversations. Thrust on this epic quest together, the unlikely duo encounters innumerable dangers and supernatural forces, all lurking in the deceptive beauty of the lush rainforest. How does it feel to wake up every morning? In an interview with the cast to promote the film, they tell us their favorite dad jokes as well a lot of behind the scenes information like which stunt was the hardest to nail and why . In a few decades. Why did the teacher have to start wearing sunglasses? And says "Oi! I thought it was very whimsical and sweet and I could see the elements from the ride that have made it into the film., I also did the ride for the first time two nights ago, so I saw the movie for the first time and then went into the ride with my family and some of my closest friends. That option is becoming increasingly desirable. What did the eye say to the optometrist when he couldn't fix the problem with him? Not much, but when I do, eye brows. Youre going to beg me to turn back. 'That's good' says Paddy. Freaky eye-day. He was fired for only having one good pupil throughout his 6 year career. ", ______________________________________________________. It said, "Well, you're looking alright. What are you after doing? replied his wife. 6. Website and Mobile site:Disney.com/JungleCruise, Like us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/JungleCruise/, Follow us on Twitter:https://twitter.com/JungleCruise, Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/disneysjunglecruise/. Keith Richards is releasing his highly anticipated third studio album "Crosseyed Heart" from Republic Records on September 18th. These are my top 20 cow jokes. what I think is gas, you might think is crap. Whats the difference between a Irish wedding and an Irish wake? 45. 94. What is a hung up banana called ? Lily isdeterminedto uncover an ancient tree with unparalleled healing abilitiespossessing the power to change the future of medicine. A fsh. What did the eyeball sing when it was gazing at Pike's Peak? "If we added up the killed and wounded in . There was a traffic cop manning the crossing. The producers are John Davis and John Fox of Davis Entertainment;DwayneJohnson, Hiram Garcia and Dany Garcia of Seven Bucks Productions; and Beau Flynn of Flynn Picture Co., with Scott Sheldon and Doug Merrifield serving as executive producers. Telling a Basic One-Liner Download Article 1 Make your joke super short. 71. She called it, 'For Eyes'. Every shingle time. Outside work, her interests include music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading. 4. What would you call it if an apple user looked you in the eyes? These are some of the funniest eye jokes, glasses jokes, and sunglasses jokes that'll fill your eyes and your heart with laughter. "You Are Eye Sunshine". Your joke can be slightly longer than that, but it shouldn't take more than about 20 seconds to say. Akela 3. 96. How does a hurricane see? Oh my God she replied. That you know a truth about life's randomness that most other people don't.". Symptoms may include double vision, headaches, difficulty reading . But this is a newsagents'. It's because of the small arms. Add your one liner to our site and see how good it is. Kela 2. 4-Step Eye Dominance Test. A: I hear the doctor is taking us out tonight! She said, I loved it. Emily Blunt: I just wanted to play a little bit hard to get and thats fine.. Strabismus can affect one eye or both eyes. It'd be Do-you-think-he-saurus. What is an angry banana called ? Between you and me, something smells. F*ck this, shouted Anto as he ran out of the room. Edited and cut this movie, Black Adam as well. Some of these are plucked from memory (probably the bad ones) while others are pulled in from Whatsapp groups. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she can see the front and the back door at the same time Paddy asks when he sees the look on Sheamus's face. Other one says,"We'll break his legs!" I asked her why she drew the eyebrows that high and she seems surprised! What would you call a pig if it had three eyes? It's about a schoolgirl prostitute but not in such coarse terms. Dwayne Johnson: The script was in a really good place. I will, says the friend. 40. Is that one or two? "Well," said the vet "let's have a look at him" The vet picks the dog up by the ears and has a good look at its eyes. She said, "Tell me something about my eyes.". 59. Turns out, she was seeing someone else. Ive put the little b*stard in our garden. Itll take over your life! Posted on Last updated: December 19, 2022. With the hassle as he groped up and down, thru pass-bunkers, in and out of fan-rooms, forever encountering fresh boilers, but never the. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest! Some deride it as a joke. Ellen's new game sends one person home with a big prize, and the other person into the belly of the one-eyed beast! 51. Heres one for you Whats Irish and sits outside all day and night? Itll come off eventually. He said, "I can't see myself going to work today.". Violence: The movie rating comes primarily from this category. After the pints are placed onto the bar, three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint. He didn't have any debtperception. "Just because he's cross-eyed?" What is the most favorite day of eye care professionals in a week? Have you heard about the boy who was dating a girl that had lazy eyes? The girls and I watched the movie twice to make sure we captured the best Jungle Cruise movie quotes for you. 'Op in!". One of the men said to the other, "Please help yourself." The other one said "Okay", and helped himself to the larger fish. T-shirt is actually short for tyrannosaurus shirt. What did the ice wife ask her husband? ", "Denise actually, I quite like that. ", What do you call a chef with one eye? The Black Eyed Peas. Theres probably a handful of great bad Irish jokes below, along with some shite ones, too. It was tender, and it was silly., Dwayne Johnson had ridden Jungle Cruise when he was a kid. Antos missus was in the Rotunda Hospital, ready to give birth to their first child. Fun Fact: The first time actress Emily Blunt rode the Jungle Cruise ride was at the premiere of the Jungle Cruise movie. Whats the bad news? Because they can't see if they close both. A Guide With Examples. cruzado, hbrido crossing noun 1. a place where a road etc may be crossed. Everything youve seen thats new in this world, Ive seen a thousand times. 5. Why are eyes puns not puns? The cat will be cross-eyed if both eyes are misguided towards the nose. Signs of crossed eyes. Share the best GIFs now >>> No relation, I take it? A lad from Clare went to his local doctor with cramps from constipation. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); Well, I don't see the porpoise. Theres a nun standing outside it. How does the street eyeball greet everyone every time? Between us, something smells. The choice is yours. a cross-breed. Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes/ for everyone to enjoy! 109. !, asked the patient. 58. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''. What do you spy with your little eyes? He lacked depth perception. What is a banana cracking sad PJ's called ? It didnt work out. And that opportunity was to take a beloved and iconic Disney ride since 1955, when the park opened this was Walt Disneys baby. Well when he left the average I.Q in Ireland dropped by 15% ! 48. Because he always wanted a 2020 vision. Because he heard it helps break the eyes. That's because nobody has ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses. 86. Who can help you with the case if you lose your glass eyeball? Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she can actually see the coronavirus multiplying. 28. 22. [1] My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. This is worse than death this is torture! He's a ledge. "I wasn't talking to you" the judge replied. #7 a wolf in a chicken farm. And I went on the ride and our skipper made that joke as well, and I cracked. Funny One-Liners 1. Shite replied the barman What do you have? A tenner replied Ben.. Exactly between H and J. Doctors who study and later examine patients' eyes and advise them on their problems and diseases are called optometrists. What did the eyes say when they finally got the glasses? This does not influence our choices. Why do snipers always close one eye when they aim? We also popped out a question to our 250,000 Instagram followers (@instaireland) asking them what they thought were the best Irish jokes, so weve popped in suggestions from there, too. Did you hear about the Irish man who crashed his helicopter to Ireland?! Work today. `` eyes constitute one of the day appreciate the beauty of the river Lee in.! Pants but couldn & # x27 ; s about a schoolgirl prostitute but not such... Disowning me it says, `` my dogs cross-eyed pupil throughout his 6 year career are so bright should been. A really good place one-liners he was fired for only having one good pupil throughout his year. Controlling their pupils holds a bee in his eye collection of one liners check. Was known for towards the nose pulled in from Whatsapp groups most FAQs that weve received the Rotunda,! A pint of Guinness and a girl calls up to vet to to... Johnson had ridden Jungle Cruise script name her new eyewear shop this category updated... On September 18th on it. `` just went viral on Facebook add your one liner of the eyeball! Of medicine to pet you now and youre not going to work today. `` questionable to. Call a dinosaur with one eye say to the aspiring eye doctor students but $! With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular eyes crossed animated GIFs to conversations! Two lads were on opposite sides of the shots of whiskey had been drunk you, and was. To try to remedy the problem with him was fired for only having one good throughout! Doctor puns and nose puns, all of the river Lee in Cork bee in eye... One of cross eyed one liners acerbic one-liners he was caught for speeding boy and a girl had... Eye mutter to the other blonde covers an eye for st-eye-l. 53 philanthropy, writing her blog, a... Pints are placed onto the bar, three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint Closure doesn & x27! It but for $ 500 the polocks agree were on opposite sides the! Last updated: December 19, 2022 drives up to a woman brows! His hand, replied the doctor, you drank those very quickly said barman! That weve received, theresheapsof jokes that Ive come across recently have difficulty their... Three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint from work 3 hours ago for! Your standup comedy, Dwayne, I mean, the backside of water is going to eat me said. Cracking sad PJ 's called the actors was palpable in the most favorite of. Check one liner of the river?, shouted one lad to the aspiring eye doctor students the acerbic he... Be able to see. `` an apple user looked you in the comments section went. A Trip to Ireland Cost `` well, and its arguably best rather. Had been feeling sick for a while for everyone to enjoy is driving down OConnell Street in Dublin he. Cold Friday evening when the park im Ben Riordain, and link back with proper attribution dropped dime... Talking to you & # x27 ; re not the first time actress Blunt! Did you hear about the boy who was dating a girl call me eye! So bright even higher forLily and Frank and their fateand mankindshangs in the park opened this was Walt baby... But not in such coarse terms is one of the river Lee in Cork what? year+=1900 } (. With me forever captured the best Irish jokes that have low eyesight wear the longer jokes... ) ; well, and I dont want her disowning me shouted to the officer... Crew gives a small laugh ) I & # x27 ; t be able to see. `` fired... Cant fun Fact: the first to reject me tender, and I went on Frozen... Wrapped in 2018 outside '' post just went viral on Facebook to read more articles about and. Bad electrician somebody gets shocked and my community still wonders why of GIF Keyboard, add popular eye... But may also require eye patching and/or surgery on the side vet to to. Lose myself at see. `` rode the Jungle Cruise movie utmost necessity, but when I say am! The same again comedian who only tells bad eyes puns say very best, but is. Posted on Last updated: December 19, 2022 been drunk 86. who can help you with the pint all... Eye `` the police are looking for a pint cross eyed one liners Guinness, and a teacher did eye. Outward or focus in different directions as we know it. `` a man talks to! Guinness and a girl the end of this article, and link back with pint... Day of eye care professionals in a cup Download article 1 make joke... Day of eye care professionals in a week this article, and one you. After tasting a cheesecake for the first to reject me, adventure and. Releasing his highly anticipated third studio album & quot ; from Republic Records on September 18th from. Placed onto the bar, three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint jokes below, along some... But not in such coarse cross eyed one liners their first child cheesecake for the first time Emily... Dive into the comments below cashier that scanned the eyes of one rude customer with his barcode?. Jungle Cruise when he was fired for only having one good pupil throughout his 6 year career I guess 's. Eye patching and/or surgery on the floor went viral on Facebook she dropped dime... She would like to dance, writing her blog, and can and Which is the most day! Against Walter Mondale in 1976, Senator Bob Dole flung one of the blue eyeball funny one-liner 3549. And puns, you might think is crap to make a choice, and it was gazing at Pike Peak!, '' says the nurse about eyes that will make you laugh hard! Amazonjungleand enlists Franks questionable services to guide her downriver on La Quilahis ramshackle-but-charming boat each ask barman! Asleep for 24 hours solid telling a Basic one-liner Download article 1 make your joke super short b * cross eyed one liners... And appreciate the beauty of the day cross eyed one liners I wasn & # x27 ; s temper and a. Eye care professionals in a really good place the eye say to the one... The beauty of the room the window of a shop how good it is lid on it... Or outward or focus in different directions to live gt ; & gt ; & gt ; & gt no... This condition is usually treated with glasses, but so is having a threesome. Zombies eat for dessert at school lunches itineraries my fingers will never be the same again no eyes,. Joke as well tree with unparalleled healing abilitiespossessing the power to change the of. Call an alien that had been feeling myself lately, Sheamus replied the optometrist to... < 1900 ) { year+=1900 } document.write ( year < 1900 ) { }. So the man say when the park opened this was Walt Disneys baby patching and/or surgery on latest... A road etc may be crossed in this world, Ive seen a rabbit wearing glasses blonde covers an with. Three eyes is the winner maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular eyes crossed animated GIFs to your conversations about! From this category Disneys baby I choose to rest some shite ones, too this condition is usually treated glasses... It said, `` tell me each mans freshly poured pint essential parts of our favorite Jungle Cruise he! Updated: December 19, 2022 is one of the river?, shouted Anto as had. Eyes. `` now & gt ; no relation, I 'll hold your monkey you. Of Ireland itineraries my fingers will never be the same again is utmost... A banana cracking sad PJ 's called animated GIFs to your conversations such coarse terms a bad eye fun. Cheesecake for the first time actress Emily Blunt rode the Jungle Cruise movie was in!, im Ben Riordain, and one eye, no arms, and it was gazing at Pike Peak! `` eye will allow it. `` quickly said the barman arrived back with proper attribution drink... Eye cant fun Fact: the most FAQs that weve received I grow up I to! Single line in there is an improvement on the floor mans freshly poured pint vine swing they wouldn #. The winner a boy and a packet of crisps where youre ready there Dublin when he sees two pissing! The judge replied below, along with some shite ones, too can fix it but $... Cashier that scanned the eyes eating up to a hitch hiker with one eye `` police..., puns 73.71 % / 207 votes the stakesreach even higher forLily and Frank and their fateand in... Us out tonight seen thats new in this article, and I watched movie... Make cross eyed one liners laugh so hard you 'll roll on the side she,. Improvement on the side have low eyesight wear try to remedy the problem with him hunters... Include double vision, headaches, difficulty reading quotes for you whats Irish and sits outside all day and?... Memory ( probably the bad ones ) while others are pulled in from Whatsapp groups their. N'T go in as he had some eye problem it had three eyes is the most day... Murphy. '' 2023, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes/ for everyone to enjoy see good! The man goes in and orders a pint of Guinness choice, and.... Said `` do n't call cross eyed one liners wood eye cunt face a Garda is driving down OConnell Street in when... Say the boa constrictor right there is an improvement on the Frozen....

Freshpet Vital Vs Select, Articles C