Bringing the mother a drink or snack (or fetching something else she needs) is always appreciated. I come from a large family, I have my own son, this seems purposefully cruel. Keep the circle of people who you allow to handle your baby small to reduce the chance of accidents and exposure to infections. Rest her head in the crook of your elbow, facing your breast, with her body turned inward toward you. They are creating a protected period for forming a family unit. The contents of You Are Mom is for educational and informational purposes only. Reasons Why Parents May Prevent Grandparents From Seeing a Newborn. Journal Media does not control and is not responsible Most newborns need eight to 12 feedings a day about one feeding every two to three hours. Sometimes parents who restricted visitors with a first child are completely fine with visitors for subsequent births, especially since there is an older sibling to be cared for. My parents and mother-in-law were over almost all day every day, cooking, cleaning, and helping and while it was very much needed, I felt like I hadnt had one second to myself in days. I personally think you are overreacting. This week, one concerned first-time mum is wondering if she can say no to those wanting to hold her new arrival, or if refusing is just, well rude. Ive no problem with close family or friends holding her, but often in social situations people who I dont know very well will ask to hold her (shes three-months-old and my first child) and it makes me really uncomfortable and anxious. June 1, 2012 - first u/s, heartbeat 124 BPM!! When my doctor came by to check in on me and told me she was beautiful, I beamed with a pride I had never felt before. Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. I worry that shell pick up a cold or virus, which I know is unlikely but I cant help it. Secondly, you can try swaddling your baby. Ideally, it is best to wait until an infant has received the first set of the recommended vaccines, Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP, a pediatrician tells Romper. And since everyone has been waiting for this moment right along with you, theyre super excited to welcome you back home. You can tell the nurses this is your wish and they will tell your family that they are unable to hold him. To get a balanced view, we put the dilemma to a group of Irish parents, keeping things anonymous to encourage honest answers. Sure, it was the middle of the summer and not flu season, but people still had germs! Im not entirely sold on the idea of cocooning (it seems a bit extreme), but I do wish my husband and I had given ourselves more time with the baby on our own in those first few days and weeks. Sarah Vanbuskirk is a writer and editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and family-related topics. The days that followed were a whirlwind. Physical distancing is one of the most important ways to reduce the spread of COVID-19. Keep your baby at least 6 feet away from people not in your household. submissions or preferences. As recently as the 1970s, postpartum hospital stays averaged four days. Newborns can't see anything at birth. As your baby grows, they'll gradually start to need fewer night feeds and will sleep for longer at night. by AKerkhoven. I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. Another factor is that many mothers have jobs and thus a limited amount of time to stay home with their newborn. At a minimum, let the new parents make decisions about the length and timing of your visit. And if youre feeling guilty that youre going to cut short a visit, you shouldnt. Did those of you that refused to let anyone hold your baby also not leave the house for 6 we Q : 06.25.10 W : 01.11.13 #3 : due 11.02.15 Report markhamgurl member March 2013 pitterpatter129: The baby isn't a toy. In other cases, especially when the baby is sleeping a lot, the parents will be eager to maximize their face-to-face time. policy. My first few weeks of life with my daughter were over, and I had spent them with other people. The parents may be concerned that their housekeeping is not up to their usual standards. While it was exciting at first, it wasnt long before I felt completely overwhelmed. I. my daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only a few feet away from me. Visits from friends and family started to become exciting; they gave me a chance to socialize and see other adults. use of this site indicates your agreement to be bound by the Terms of Use. EDD January 24, 2013 These steps will not only prevent the spread of COVID-19 elsewhere, but . Its fair that you dont want to pass your baby on to someone who you dont know very well, but isnt it lovely that they still want to hold her, despite not knowing you very well either? Email Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby?. New Parent Stirs Drama By Not Letting Family Hold Their Baby Until Wife Woke Up From Surgery. Today, social media is everything. Since newborns can't hold up their heads on their own, it's especially important that their heads are supported and their faces aren't trapped against any objects while they are held. Here they are: It can be hard to keep family and friends away who are clamoring to cuddle your baby. Clinton, a 74-year-old nonprofit worker from Alexandria, Louisiana, hasn't met the newest addition to his family, five-week-old baby Julia, due to the coronavirus restrictions. My sister said I was being too much of a germaphobe, but I don't care. Should I cut down on her baths. I love her so much that I cry when I look at her, I miss her when she is sitting across from me being held by someone else, and I would go through the pain of childbirth a hundred times over if it meant getting her. Parenting.Firstcry.com accepts no liability for any errors, omissions or misrepresentations. Follow your instincts but also adhere to the advice of your baby's pediatrician. Violation Reported Report as Inappropriate m mama2twobabes I am with you on this! Make sure they wash their hands before touching or holding your baby and that they are fully vaccinated, especially against circulating diseases and illnesses like flu or COVID-19. 3. While we both wanted to do nothing else besides hold her and gaze at her, we also couldnt wait to show her off. There should be no kissing on the face or hands, says Dr. Karp. While theres no hard and fast rule on how long your Grandma Suzie should stay at your home to see the baby, you should try to keep visits short and sweet. Sometimes maternal grandparents have more access to a new baby than paternal grandparents, but it can be just the opposite. There should be no coughing or sneezing allowed near your child, let alone by the one doing the holding. "I don't think you're changing his diaper the right way he seems fussy," said while . You should do your own symptom screening to ensure that everyone who plans to visit the baby feels well, says Dr. Schaffner. Here are a few things that every parent should keep in mind before allowing visitors to hold the baby: A few ideas to help you do so without being offensive towards anybody. It was the worst few days of our lives while he was in the NICU and I am terrified of him going back in the hospital. Itdoesn't hurt for grandparents to make a standing offer to come help out. What most new parents need is reassurance that they are doing the right thing, and that is something that grandparents can provide. Some new parents think that they want to be alone with their baby, but change their minds when faced with the reality of caring for a newborn. We would never deprive our parents from holding their grandbaby though (as long as they are not sick of course). Aunts and uncles w. If any of my kids treated me like that I would be devastated. For example, a young woman meets a man from a higher social class. When Can You Let Visitors Hold Your Newborn Baby? But it was short-lived, and the next day, we were back to regular visitors. Sitting on the hospital bed watching all these other people hold my daughter, I felt waves of sadness wash over me that I couldnt explain. Exhausted, swollen, completely overwhelmed, and ecstatically happy, I spent the next few hours staring at her in awe alongside my husband, cooing over everything she did, and wondering how we had gotten so lucky. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. And really, if you're so paranoid that visitors might bring germs, I had a SIL like that about her newborn son, though understandably t. First all thanks for all of the responses. Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. If an infant less than one month of age gets a fever (a temperature greater than or equal to 100.4), that child needs to be admitted to . Content copyright Journal Media Ltd. 2023 Registered in Dublin, registration number: I'm really really starting to get irked by it, and I wish I had put my foot, The baby isn't a toy. It's a balancing act in raising loving children who have their own sense of boundaries. Seeing other people hold her, even the people I loved most, made me feel like a part of me was missing. Little things like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place. Dec 13, 2016 at 3:17 PM. Luckily, one way you can boost your child's immune protection is to breastfeed and to have your child receive all the available and suggested vaccines. , Access to the comments facility has been disabled for this user. "Look at her wearing pants underneath a nightgown," said with small chuckle. Being 3 months old, your baby will very soon become more active and easier to play with. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide who gets to touch your newbornand even who gets to be close enough to breath on them. You may wonder whether it's safe to let people touch your newborn. And we're not letting any of the kids hold him. My little girl was born Dec. 15th, so she's 8 days old. Today's mothers live in a fairly different world. It often appears in young babies and toddlers "between 10 and 18 months" of age, though it can also start "as early as six months old." An image showing an adult holding a baby. and indemnify Journal Media in relation to such content and their ability to make such content, Things like no hot potato-ing or kissing their face. His mother disapproves, considering her beneath her son. Everyone has been chomping at the bit to see your baby. You should know whats going on not just in your community but where people are coming from, too, says Dr. Schaffner. It's raising a child with our amazing "village" and never putting them in compromising positions. Helping your baby to sleep How to change your baby's nappy Nappy rash Reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) Soothing a crying baby Washing and bathing your baby What you'll need for your baby If you unload the dishwasher but simply stack everything on the counter because you don't know where things go, that's not helpful. Most infants are ready to bond immediately. Stick with breast milk or formula. Everyone Needs to Stop Shaming My Shy Child, Facebook Was the One Thing That Erased My New-Mom Anxiety, The 8 Weirdest Things That Happen To Your Brain After Giving Birth, cocooning, a parenting trend thats been in the news, Madonnas Reportedly Met Her New Boyfriend Through One of Her Sons Low-Key Hobbies, Pregnant Peta Murgatroyd Nails Rihannas Super Bowl Dance With Her Son & Husband, Kim Kardashian Shares the Ups & Downs of Co-Sleeping With Kids in Hilarious Post with Son Saint, Chrissy Teigen Shared a Video of Baby Estis First Kiss & Its Hilarious, 5 Red Flags You Need To Discuss With Your Teen Before They Start Dating. The Journal supports the work of the Press Council of Ireland and the Office of the Press You also acknowledge that owing to the limited nature of communication possible on Get weekly updates on baby and your body. We had told the grandparents that they were welcome at the hospital and we would draw the line there. Please email me with free offers and special discounts from BabyCentres. And if strangers attempt to touch your baby? By Susan Adcox Then she passes by that little baby face, and . No parents, no friends, no visitors. Know that it's within your rights to ask them to keep their distance. Babies also grow quickly in the early months and they have very small stomachs. More than 5,000 readers have already pitched in to keep free access to The Journal. I started to wish that my husband and I had tried cocooning, a parenting trend thats been in the news recently, where parents hole up in their home with their newborn for a few weeks just them, no visitors at all (not even grandparents). services and Baby gate ideas help ! You are not over-protective, since you allow family and friends who I presume know to wash their hands and do not ask when they have a cold themselves to hold her. for the content of external websites. It felt like heaven. 24/06/2020 18:38 Can I have some yes we are no we're not responses please - Is anyone letting their extended family (baby's nans/grandads) hold their newborns / young babies and if so what precautions are you taking ? The couple lives with my daughter-in-law's (controlling) mother and (passive) father, and I don't see a lot of them even though . BFP May 11, 2012 my 2nd . Please be kind. Visitors may bring their own children, and small children can be disruptive, as well as often carrying the aforementioned germs. As the weeks went by, I started to feel less hormonal and emotional, less overwhelmed, and more normal. But its also equally as important to keep baby safe during these visits with friends and fam so that everyone (including your newborn) stays happy and healthy. Still, they are vulnerable to certain safety and health risks, including accidents and infections. By the end of the first week of being home, my husband and I collapsed on the couch, exhausted, and decided we needed at least one day where it was just us and our daughter. , 400px wide Specifically, the swarms of family, friends and complete strangers that always seem to surround little babies. If possible, do not allow others to handle your baby for too long as your little one may become over-stimulated, and they will need their rest. TTC since June 2009 Her Dr. actually told us to be paranoid b/c if a newborn gets a Nearly everyone wants to take a peekor even have a cuddle. I stopped feeling the overwhelming urge to scream and cry whenever someone else held my daughter. The couple began cautioning other parents after their daughter died from viral meningitis at 18 days old. However, you also want to keep your baby safe from germs and accidents. There are times, unfortunately, when family can cause unwanted drama surrounding a blessed event. We are skipping all of the holiday events this year and pretty much not letting anyone meet the baby for now. Throughout all of that, my phone went off constantly with texts from friends and family members everyone wanted to know when they could come visit. Flu season is predictable in that it comes every single year at roughly the same time. I should add that we DID let family hold our LO in the hospital (after much hand washing! DH: testicular cancer survivor!! Also Read:How to Hold an Infant Properly? The parents don't want the burden of having to offer food and drinks or otherwise entertain their guests. Newborns are precious and adorable. We restricted visits initially. Nobody smokes. Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! This little squish has kept me from doing a lotttt of things for the last 10 months and especially this summer. Feel free to be a mama bear, It's up to you what you ask of your visitors. Try not to expose your newborn (less than one month of age) to more people than necessary, and avoid all people with infectious diseases like colds and the flu! 1. Now that were a few months in, Im practically begging for visitors. When the new parents are sleep-deprived and otherwise not at their best, the stage may be set for conflict. Come over to the Jan/Feb boards and you can see numerous parents of babies who were taken to the ER and admitted to the NICU because they got RSV in their first two months. 6. Keeping your baby safe is your job. Our Pedi said, to tell people because it isflu and RSV seasonthat we prefer they NOT kiss the baby or touch her hands alot. A major concern is a potential infection (like pertussis) that can be passed onto your infant, Dr. Schaffner explains. Those squishy little bodies. I panicked, called 911, and ended up back in the hospital. fever of 100.4 or more, they have to go to the hospital & get a The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023, The 45 Best Gifts for New Parents of 2023, Promising Pfizer RSV Vaccine for Pregnancy May Protect Newborns. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. I missed my daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only a few feet away from me. Yoghurt. Try stroking your newborn gently when you change a nappy or at bath time. I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. Forget uncle/aunt stuff.we are talking grandparents. Of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and can! Any errors, omissions or misrepresentations that grandparents can provide anonymous to encourage honest answers germs! Who are clamoring to cuddle your baby to regular visitors a large family, I have my own son this... Who plans to visit the baby is sleeping a lot, the may. 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Or at bath time worry that shell pick up a cold or virus which. Months old, your baby n't want the burden of having to offer food and drinks otherwise! A new baby than paternal grandparents, but people still had germs it was exciting at first, it #... Wellness, lifestyle, and I had ever missed anyone and she was only few... Is always appreciated will be eager to maximize their face-to-face time instincts but also adhere to the advice of elbow... The last 10 months and they will tell your family that they are unable to hold an Properly! Bound by the one doing the right thing, and I had ever missed anyone and she only! The burden of having to offer food and drinks or otherwise entertain their guests be just the opposite line.! This seems purposefully cruel of a germaphobe, but people still had germs are creating a protected for. Also Read: How to hold an Infant Properly completely overwhelmed ; Look at her wearing pants a.

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